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[ there are crates of drinks, alcoholic and non-alcoholic alike.

all are equally available, without apparent limit. well, except for the bartender who leans over the counter.

if you look over forty, jack will pour you a drink without question. but otherwise? ]

Got ID?

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Vader thunders in the room, with his usual confident stride, until he sees he's not alone.

Then, he's suddenly reticent, wrapped in his cape.

He...has something

Jack almost ducks down behind the counter when he sees who enters.

As it is, his hands still clutch the edge as he sighs before calling, "Okay there?"

Vader's strangled "There is nothing to be concerned about" comes just a second too late to be believable

He tries to edge towards the door, his massive bulk making him incapable of subtlety

Jack tries to believe Vader. But while doing do, he puts down his bottle of beer, moves toward the exit Vader is also heading towards, and wishes he was easily manipulated rather than well-trained with a strange natural resistance to Jedi Mind Tricks.

"I'm not concerned," he lies.

But he is also standing in the middle of the doorway Vader was hoping to pass through.

Vader's lip curls in disgust.

"You can't take this from me. I deserve it. Why shouldn't I have it?"

His grip tightens, and there is a cry of displeasure from the mystery package

Jack was quite prepared to agree with Vader. Possession is 9/10ths of the law, and all the other misinformation he learnt as a kid ~~and Republican~~.

But at the cry?

Jack shakes his head and glares at Vader. "You sure it's actually an it you got there?"

Vader hissed with displeasure, shrugging off his cape to reveal a tightly-wrapped bundle of human baby.

"I deserve this," he hissed, awkwardly shifting his grip on the wriggling mass. "I deserve something that's mine."

Jack has seen some shit in his time. But most of it in the past couple years has involved Vader (sorry, Mr Skywalker) and his family. So he gives this exactly zero benefit of the doubt.

"...nope. Nope, I'm definitely gonna opt towards the negative. Who's the baby sentient being?"

(Hey, he's been around long enough not to assume human!)

Vader growled, managing to lay the baby's head against his heavily armored shoulder in a reasonably acceptable hold.

"I found this. They took mine, and now I have this one. This one...is good."

Jack flinches in reaction to the child's head motion.

"I ... see."

Vader nodded. Yes. Good.

"They took our baby- Padme's baby-- because they didn't think I deserved it. But I do. I deserve this warm thing. It doesn't matter that all mine are gone."

Jack almost corrects him by saying twins. (Teal'c made him watch the movies at some point.) But bites his tongue in time, because there is no way that will end well.

Instead, he nods. And says, "Hey, I get that, I totally do. But -- objectively--" (By the time he says this word, he has already hit the security button for ... wait, does this place even have security yet? Oh Thor damn it.) "--does the baby deserve you?"

It was too late to change his train of thought. :/

"I haven't done anything wrong!" Vader shouted, hysterical. The baby began to wail, distressing him even more. He shook the small thing, gently, like a poor imitation of something half-remembered.

The wailing did not stop.

Jack opens his mouth, closes it, and this repeats for a couple rounds before the most he can manage is, "Seriously?"

(Anakin jr steps up at this point. Just standing there to mediate. Make sure no one's killed. Also, that might be his mom or uncle...?)

Vader growls, still unable to quiet the child (that he stole from somewhere)

"Not...not to this one," he replies, fumbling. "Stop!" He finally commands the baby.

Jack shakes his head and, just as the baby stops, says, "Babies cry."

He meets Vader's gaze, swallowing his own fear. (Granted, he's died more than once, so he's only about 75% concerned.)

"You gotta stop yelling at it. You have Jedi powers, right? Feel it."

Vader recoils at the word 'jedi', but only stares at the baby.

"I am not so depraved that I would use the Force to command the mind of an infant," he shot back, waspishly.

"Sure."

Jack glances around. Ah, his reinforcements are a bar and a twelve-year-old. Excellent. He sighs.

"So you have this child's best interests at heart?"

"I just want something that I haven't broken," Vader snapped. "I found this one all alone. Why not me?"

"Well," Jack begins, but something tells him not to continue trying to explain adoption regulations for the state of Colorado (or whatever state they're in this time).

He instead offers, "Can I get a member of your family to, hmm, sponsor this? This facility requires two sponsors for each infant."

(Anakin jr has suddenly disappeared.)

Vader glares poisonously.

"You know as well as I do that they would prefer I did not exist." The implied 'not that I care' hangs heavily between them.

Jack meets the glare, though he offers less poison.

(Caedus begins to raise his hand. Anakin jr, before disappearing, knocks it down.)

"...as the administrator of this facility," Jack says, and he's audibly sighing in addition to his verbal manner, "I might be able to ... well, I can sign whatever I frakkin' want."

!!

"Why would you do that?" Vader asks, suspicious. "You are no fonder of me than they are."

"That's true," Jack agrees, forgetting that his only two Jedi (...well, they balanced out as such) bodyguards have vanished.

He shrugs.

"...but the kid deserves whatever chance you can give it. And if that chance includes me..."

Jack is trying very hard not facepalm at himself right now.

"...then, okay."

Vader watches Jack, warily, before cautiously offering the baby up.

"See how small these hands are. Should they be...?"

"...they deserve a chance to live," Jack manages.

And he involuntarily smiles while accepting the infant into his grasp.

"Yes." Vader stands, transfixed for a moment.

Then he turns on his heel and begins to stalk away, cape flaring behind him.

Ben frowns in the direction of his grandfather.

Anakin jr is also frowning.

Caedus scowls and is willing to tackle his grandpa for the baby. It's probably better than Ben.

Vader steadfastly ignores his children's children. He can't have them. They are beyond his reach, he is soiled in their minds.

This new one doesn't have to know.

Clint already grabbed a drink (showing a fake Russian ID) and now sits in the highest corner available, watching.

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SOCIAL

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I'm not sure Vader thinks babies are real people tbh

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TWO SITHS AND A BABY

jack just loves kids IN A LEGAL WAY

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i'm just gonna post all solo skywalker accounts in reply

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cati decides why not

DECEASED

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